Waiting for love. Waiting. This has felt like my heartbeat for a long time. Waiting for my idea of love. I don’t know about anything else but waiting often feels like something imposed on me, not something I choose, something reactive, not a proactive, positive, life-affirming choice. But it never starts out this waiting. Waiting is a choice, it has a why attached to it that is much more important than the what that waiting is.
I saw a clip from a preach by this morning where he talks about the power of our why. The reason why we do something needs to be first and foremost and remain primary in our minds so much so that the what– the circumstances and situations that spring up or occur pale in comparison to the reason we began walking this journey in the first place. And so it is with waiting. The reason why we are waiting needs to be more important and given more focus than how long we’ve been waiting for, what waiting feels like in this moment or what happens to tempt us away from the waiting.
Though, this is not what springs to mind when I think of the title waiting for love. The idea of waiting for love, if you know God or are a Christian is actually somewhat oxymoronic. God is love and the Bible says very clearly that God will never leave or forsake us. So, whatever love it is that we are waiting for on earth, romantic, parental or otherwise and whatever benefits we perceive it to bring all can found in God. He is the ultimate, and only perfect embodiment of exactly what love is at any given point in time. The 1 Corinthians 13 love that is patient, kind, not self-seeking etc. Yup He’s it. And He is the only one who will ever embody it as perfectly as we need. God is the only one who can love us as much, as consistently and as wholly as our souls actually need.
God knows what we need and He loves us beyond any measure that we can dream up or imagine. He loves us without any error. He never misses a need of ours, misjudges how we need loving or forgets to love us. He never tires of it and never will. So, when we are in the midst of a season of waiting for love here on earth how do we reconcile this God who proactively loves us exactly as we need it and feeling exiled from our deepest desires for a seemingly unending and infinite amount of time?
Firstly, we need to realise that the best timing isn’t our timing. And on the subject of time, we must also realise that here and now is all we have and all we’ll ever have. We can’t bank on the guarantee of a tomorrow, we must be fully present and at peace with our today. But this is not the case with God- He sees the big picture, He sees and knows the number of days we’ll spend on earth and when our prayers will bear visible fruit.
We must also realise that at any given point God is tweaking and working all things for our good and His glory. This could involve an infinite number of decisions, crossroads, circumstances or situations all of which He’s given us free will over. Yes, God is ultimately still sovereign and able to work through and in those circumstances, whatever we choose but we do still have choice. And for God to use all things for our good and His glory can take time if our choices, or indeed the choices of that person God has set aside for us take us further away from God’s best for our lives. Sometimes to soften a heart, to prepare someone for a new type of love takes time. If you want it to work out, if you really want any kind of happily ever after, let it take the time it needs to. God knows best.
So to bring my myriad of perhaps disparate thoughts together I’ve realised in my own life that I am never waiting for love. Sometimes, I don’t always recognise its influence in my life but I am never without it. It doesn’t always look like I want it to- the provision I need, the acceptance of a parent or a boyfriend but it’s always there regardless using all the things that I do and turning them for His glory and my good.
