The past twelve months have been a beautiful whirlwind. Not only did I get engaged but I also transitioned from fiancée to wife. And as a newlywed you would probably think this was the end of it all, no more wedding preparations and a moment to exhale. But that’s definitely not the case because in the midst of writing our love story we were conscious to not put the wedding on a pedestal or make it the destination. So standing hand in hand with my husband and stepping into the beginning of our forever is definitely my favourite part of the story. In these early chapters of marriage I have found one thing to be true and that is – marriage is a mirror…
A Perfect Union Without Cracks
The late, great Myles Munroe said the following profound words in his book The Purpose and Power of Love & Marriage:
“God instituted marriage; it belongs to Him, not us. Marriage is two imperfect people committing themselves to a perfect institution by making perfect vows from imperfect lips before a perfect God.”
God created marriage and therefore it has to be good and perfect. Unfortunately our own personal experiences and witnessing the experiences of others can sometimes make us reach the resolve that marriage is bad and often destructive. And whether we have a personal desire for it or not we can’t shut ourselves off from the beauty that God is trying to reveal to us through the mystery of marriage and it requires us to go back to the basics and see the union through the eyes of Christ and form our opinion based on His vision. Love is patient and kind and it doesn’t hurt, but sometimes people hurt and similarly marriage is not destructive or bad but rather perfect, beautiful and an honourable union.
A Reflection To Beautify
Marriage definitely brings to life the notion that iron sharpens iron. What I do and say has a direct impact on my husband and vice versa. Marriage is the perfect antidote to killing selfishness and pride in order encourage each other to love a little deeper daily. So now when I look into the mirror I no longer just see myself but I see a new image; an image of oneness, I see us. Marriage is an array of reflections some of which reveal and others of which inspire. Contrary to popular opinion I don’t believe marriage to be hard work; yes it stretches you and being stretched is painful but there is an incomprehensible joy that comes with growing through the pain and fusing yourselves under the pressure to reveal priceless gemstones over time. I have come to realise that marriage is a gift for me and my husband to adorn and we can only do that by reflecting Christ.
A Glimpse Into Eternity
I have really had the opportunity to get well acquainted with 1 Corinthians 13 recently and it has honestly been a breath of fresh air to gain new perspective on this passage:
“9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10 but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears.”
“12 For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.“
The Love written out here is something we continue to aspire to and there are some limitations we face whilst on this earth and Paul wrote this letter to the Corinthians to remind and challenge them to have the correct perspective. As followers of Christ we have a heart that yearns for eternity and marriage gives us a glimpse of the glorious union between Christ and the Bride which is yet to come. No relationship will come close to the intimacy that you find in marriage so it makes perfect sense why God will continue to use this analogy to describe His undying love for His bride. Right now we only know and see in part but we anticipate a day where we no longer have to see via the reflection of a mirror but see the King of Glory in all His beauty. Marriage lasts a lifetime but it doesn’t surpass eternity and marriage should never be the goal, Christ should. One thing I know is that marriage is amazing so if what is to come is guaranteed to surpass I can only imagine the splendour and wonder that awaits all of us.
It is a blessing to do life with my best friend, partner and lover and an honour to grow in love not just with my spouse but also use that as an opportunity to grow with God and reflect that to the world. So whether married, single, engaged or divorced let’s begin realigning our thoughts and words towards marriage to what God intended it to be – beautiful. But most importantly let us see healthy marriages as a reflection of something greater, that Christ has a love so deep for us that He laid down His life because you belong to the Beloved’s and His desire is for you.
By Dorcas Payne
(Formally our Dorcas Kissi – Congratulations)