So what happens when we change our minds? What happens when we halt and realise we have been comfortably going with the flow but moving against our heart’s cry? What happens when we decide we want something more, deeper and new? What happens when we choose to move in a different direction? What happens when we go against logic/intellect and follow the sound of our heart? What happens when deep calls unto deep and awakens a sleeping dream? What happens when we respond and in the process begin to break ourselves?
Being in the midst of it all, I can honestly say that transitions are difficult seasons. You stand tired in the middle of a journey not quite where you want to be, but nowhere near where you once was and you lose heart as you look around and realise the surroundings haven’t changed much. But then you look at yourself and see those areas of perception and esteem which were once distorted and broken are now whole and beginning to blossom into full bloom. It’s true what they said, April showers do bring May flowers. So never regret journeys or seasons that awaken the butterfly to arise or cultivate the rose to blossom.
It’s weird because society often frowns upon those big counterintuitive decisions we make against the ‘norm’. Whether it is choosing to stop working in that 9-5 job that has been draining the creativity from you, signing out from that long term relationship that is safe yet stifling or packing your bags and moving to areas less known or comfortable when everything you need is within arm’s reach.
In such situations we make the conscious choice to move into the unknown and with that comes a breaking and uprooting we are often not prepared for, all we know is that there is a growing flame within us that can’t let us stay where we are, even though we have no clue of our next move. And yes we may get attached to the stigma of having an identity or quarter life crisis in these situations but how about we change our perspectives to see the beauty in the breaking and the hope that ignites within in knowing that you could well be on you your way to experiencing the life in abundance that is there for those who boldly reach out for it.
It would probably be safer and easier to stay in that job we studied hard for and strive for that promotion or move onto marriage because it seems like the right thing to do next or continue to do our best to make everyone happy and stay put and quieten the heart’s silent scream. But it would be a shame to live out any story other than your own and I think Steffany Gretzinger said it best in her song ‘I Spoke Up’ where she says:
“And I spoke out
I learned that love doesn’t hold its tongue
And passion doesn’t bow to what they think
It’s You and me
Sometimes it’s painful to be brave
To look fear in the face and know your name
To find your strength…
Pressure’s all off.”
God does not tease. He will not place those desires and dreams on your heart which cause you to step out then leave you to venture that journey alone. That bold step of trust has put a massive smile on His face and He is excited to hold your hand during this time. But most importantly He is looking forward to using this journey to remind you of how much you are loved. He absolutely delights in you and although the route may not always be clear rest assured you are in great company.
It is said that it is better to break yourself rather than find yourself in situations that leave you broken. And although the breaking reveals the deep wounds of our hearts; it is always comforting to know that this is exactly what Jesus came for – to heal the brokenhearted and bind up their wounds (Psalm 147:3). It’s a done deal! You are going to get better. The hardest bit is stepping out and the rest is a matter of faith, hope and love. So don’t obsess over what to do next, just be and enjoy the journey with the Father who is so deeply in love with you because it would be shame to miss out on the beauty that’s in the in between and the amazing meanings in the meantime.
By Dorcas Kissi