Her perspective:
Although I got hitched a short time before my young person’s railcard expired—I never really thought of myself as a particularly young bride. That being said, given that the average age for a woman to marry in the UK is now around 32—it makes me think that perhaps I could have considered myself a spring chicken in a white dress after all.
When I was still in school, I thought that I would have got married at about 23 (because that sounded old and like I’d be responsible), but once I reached 23, I soon realised that my younger self had set wild expectations and I was not at all ready. What’s more, my door wasn’t exactly being overwhelmed with dozens of (suitable) suitors either. But having grown up going to church and seeing people getting married in their very early twenties—I found that there was a certain expectation of marrying young and straight out of University. I soon appreciated that this isn’t everyone’s story—it certainly didn’t feel like mine.
It wasn’t only my own notions of feeling ready (or more so not) that I had to contend with, I also had to ward off (probably) well-meaning (but misguided) individuals within church who thought that my life was somehow poorer because I was still single. In fact, I remember attending a friend’s wedding and being approached in the toilets by an older woman who, with earnest eyes, asked me whether I was upset that my friend was getting married before me and I didn’t have anyone. It became clear to me that in some ways, some people within the church make marriage seem as though it is the pinnacle of a young, Christian girl’s existence—which, for anyone who is being sold that lie—it is not.
The truth is, I got married at an age when God brought along a good, godly man that I could (and do!) love and respect. I also feel blessed that it was at a time when I had had the opportunity to travel, finish my further studies and discover more of myself and who I am in Christ before meeting him. In addition, when I met my husband, I certainly wasn’t looking for my other half because I knew I was a whole person already.
Ultimately, if you do desire to get married, wait for the good, rather than rushing into the mediocre—and pray that God would clearly show you the difference! Whatever your age, it’s worth holding out for and marrying a good man (note that I said a good man: many women miss out on gems because their list of must-haves is taller than they are, selah). For some, that happens earlier and for others a little later. Either way, enjoy the ride; there is so much beauty, love and joy to be found in singleness—and in marriage too. Both are blessings we can be thankful for, whatever season we find ourselves in.
His perspective:
When asked why I got married young, my answer is the same as the one I would give when asked why I got married at all. The reasons do not change depending on age to me. I got married because I love my wife and I wanted to honour her before God. I believe that love comes with other virtues, like trust, sacrifice and honour. To me, love and honour are inextricably linked, so if I say that I love her and I really do, I have to make a promise—a covenant—with her. I have to back up my words with action, with a vow that I confess before God and man: to love and honour her, as long as we both shall live.
by Kazstarlet
Tweet Me @kazstarlet